New view on things.

So this past week has been interesting. I woke up Sunday miserable. I had a fever all of my lymph nodes were swollen, and I had no energy. None! I thought oh whatever no big deal 24/48 hour virus I will be fine. 48 hours came and pasted I was still sick. My lymph nodes had gone down except one. This was unusual because instead of being the ones in your neck(throat) area it was one in my lower armpit. Weird I know. It hurt it was red and it was bothering me. I was able to finally go to the doctor on day 4.

-this was a miracle within itself. It was really hard to find a doctor out here accepting new patients and had a spot open within 48 hours.... 

Anyways, I went. They took my temp 101. No wondering I was feeling miserable. Then I finally got to meet the doctor. She is seriously the nicest lady ever! She listened to me. She was concerened with what concerened me. She was great. Well we did a normal physical and then went to the lymph node. She looked at it and then looked at the one on my other side which theoretically should be identical. She noticed what I was saying it was swollen. It didn't look right and it isn't a normal one to swell. This she didn't like. So she then decided to check everything for lumps. We couldn't identify one but something was causing it to swell and be in pain. She orded a blood test and an ultra sound. She told me she was looking for tumors. Well of course my mother and I, being my mother and I, had looked up and knew what path this was headed down. This was on the diagnostic track for young adult breast cancer. Breast cancer in an 18 year old. Yeah you don't hear about that one every day. I honestly have never given a thought to breast cancer. I am too young I always told myself. It is something people my grandmas or even maybe mom could have but not me! Anyways blood test came back normal my white blood cells weren't even elevated. This was reassuring but not at the same time. Then I got to go have my ultra sound done. The whole morning leading up to this I may have been a basket case. I would look in the mirror and notice how my hair is finally growing out past a pixie cut finally into a small bob. I would think of all sorts of things and be on the verge of tears. Needless to say it was a rough morning. Then I went to our itty bitty hospital and got the ultra sound. This was only of the lymph node might I add. It all came back clear. The doctor said as long as no new symptoms popped up she was pretty sure it was a virus. This was comforting for the day.  The next day how ever I started developing some upper chest discomfort. I honestly don't know what is causing it. If I was coughing it would feel like an upper respiratory pain almost but I don't have a cough.... But it is just discomfort to go with the general swelling. Oh well (we are going that it is a symptom of whatever virus I have) But I think we are out of the deep end guys. Today I was pushed hard and in the moment I didn't feel well at all but tonight despite everything that has happened today(had to get beautiful for cheer and then continue to cheer at a football and volleyball game, and go to the store) I have energy, this is the kid that the day before I got out of bed only three times because I was literally that drained of energy! Hoping that tomorrow is the same and that pretty quick I can be symptom free.

So this weekend I we had our breast cancer awareness football game. This was so interesting for me. I had so many mixed emotions. Being told at 18 that they thought I might have had breast cancer was so hard. And then today to cheer and be happy was kind of a rough thing. It hit close to home. I have always ignored it. I have never felt attached to it, but not this year. This year it could've be me. I could've be that one in eight that gets breast cancer.

 I am very grateful for modern medicine. I am very greatful for a doctor who took me seriously and worked fast to find out what was wrong -within 24 hours all tests were done and I had results. 

You don't know what is going to happen in life. Life can go upside down so fast. It is always interesting to me when you are faced with losing everything and possibly even your life how your perspective of life changes. I think it is a good reality check sometimes-not being told you have cancer, but I think y'all know what I mean :)