Sunday, September 14, 2014

7 months later

So seven months ago my arm started to feel weird. Within a week I got my massive migraines that ended me up in the ER twice. I wasn't able to sleep through the night due to neck and arm pain. I had to stop playing viola. I ended up with two incompletes. Well 7 months later..... Not far from where I was in February/March. I have now seen 5 doctors. I have had a CT and an MRI. I have had a nerve conduction study and physical therapy. I even own two cervical collars aka cones of shame. I still can't play. It is really hard. All I have worked for for the past 4 years all out the window. I can't literally play. I have been told so many different things and they all overlap but none are identical. I stopped PT when I  started my vacation time but since I have regressed almost back to where I was in February/March. I have a very stiff neck. My mobility is decreasing drastically. My arm is tingly it feels like I touched an outlet. I wake up with almost no sensation in my arm. Who knows. Who knows when my neck will feel better. I am really hoping that someone either in Louisville or Buena Vista/Lexington can figure it out. I really do feel like it is skeletal which causes issues with muscles and nerves.  It is frustrating. I want to play.  I want to be normal. I want to be able to wear whatever I want. I want to be able to look down without being in pain. There are so many things I would love to do. Being able to play makes my major enjoyable, without it it is torture. I should have just hit my 5 year mark, instead I woke up with a numb arm. I get so frustrated I am a music major because I love viola. I am a music major because it makes me happy to play. It connects with my soul. Yep no viola. I get to be in music classes but I am in the two nastiest ones that exists to man kind. I get to pretend to be a music major but part of me is missing. It is a hole I can't fill.


So far so good

Nothing exciting to report. Buena Vista or BV has a lot of bugs. Like a lot of bugs. Like I grew up in Houston and think this is a lot of bugs. There are spiders everywhere. Anyone who knows me well knows Becca doesn't do spiders. There haven't been to many in the apartment they are mainly outside of the apartment. They live on our front porch and our back screen door. Gross. We also have one that insists on living between the two trees in front of our apartment. This isn't a problem for anyone else but my roommates and I walk through the web so often it is so so so disgusting. We have them drop down from the ceiling during class.... Yeah no, not cool.
The weather is thinking about fall! Today it didn't leave the 60's and was almost cold after straight 80's+humidity! Very nice! I love fall. I love everything from September leading up to Christmas. It is magical almost. I am really hoping I get that this year. Last year seriously lacked. But my roommates and I already want to do a pumpkin so I am hopeful.
I couldn't have better roommates. I have had so many for how short I have been in school. I have had good ones and bad ones. I have horror stories. But mine right now are awesome.

So I am finally in my last theory and aural skills classes! YAY! For those of you who don't know, those are the let's torture the music major and make them rethink their major. Some schools have more but SVU only has 3 semesters :)
As for what on Earth am I doing? I don't really know either. I am getting my music degree. I have about a year and a half left if I take summer school this summer. And lets face it I may go nuts if I don't. So I will probably be graduating Spring 2016. Awesome! So excited. For career though I don't know... I thought about everything I thought about being a doctor, physician assistant, music teacher, nurse, nurse practitioner.... everything. I think at this point I kind of want to be done with school. I want my degrees and to be done. I would to get married, work, and have a family. So as of now I am leaning towards a second degree BSN, also called an accelerated BSN. I can have it in about a year to eighteen months after I graduate with my music degree. I would only have to work 3 or 4 days a week this way... that sounds good right?

I guess the one strange thing for me is a lack of music friends. I have always had music friends. I look back and that is the kind of people I hung out with. Middle school all the way through my freshman year of college... but not here. My only friends so far are pretty much my roommates. I don't know it is a weird feeling totally fine with me just a little weird.

I am missing my pretty kitty. Poor Jacquet never gets to live with me. I am hoping to be able to find off campus next year and be able to bring her, so we can finally live together under one roof. That like never happens for more than a month.

So far so good.